I don't know what it is about turning 5 but I think for me, it's the first of those "milestone" birthdays. Tomorrow she's going to be a whole hand! I look back (and even though it's only been 5 years) and my heart is filled with nothing but happiness and love. She was my first baby. My first for almost everything as a momma. So far, at least.
Things were hard in the beginning. I had to go back to work when she was only 8 weeks old. I was a hot mess to say the least. I missed her and my anxiety (something that really never existed for me before having children) ran through the roof. I wanted nothing more than to be home with her. But, that wasn't in the cards for many reasons, and still isn't. After awhile we got in our groove and I learned to adjust to the huge change in my life. She was such a good baby. So pleasant and sweet. She made you work for that smile, but made it well worth the effort.
Watching her grow into a toddler, and then a preschooler, and now a KINDERGARTNER!!! I cannot believe it. Sometimes I look at her and I can't believe what a well-rounded, smart, caring, and beautiful little person she is. She loves everything about life and somedays I wish I had half her spirit and love for life. I don't want that quality about her to ever change. She's the type of kid who wakes up every.single.day in a good mood. Always wakes up with smile on her face. How is she my kid...because anyone who knows me, knows I'm nothing like that! Her love for life is a gift that I hope she never lets anyone take from her.
God sent this little girl (and my other 2 babies) into my life and I couldn't be more blessed to be their mother. Somedays are hard and sometimes I feel like the biggest failure on the planet. I yell, I scream, and sometimes I'm not the nicest mom, yet she still loves me anyway. She tells me almost everyday that I'm the greatest mom. How is that possible? How did I get so lucky to be given the gift of being a mom to her and her siblings? Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for them.
So, tomorrow she turns 5 (actually at 4:29 a.m.) and we are going to fill her room with balloons for the 2nd year in a row. Last year when we did it, she thought it was magical. I hope she feels the same tomorrow. I hope that she can still feel the magic years down the road. I want all of her dreams to come true.
Happy 5th Birthday J! Mommy loves you!
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